Bible Wisdom

To my knowledge the Bible is one book. Next time you go to the doctor for a critical condition, make sure you go to one that only read one book, preferably the Bible.

Violence and Sex on TV

Everyone is always so worried about sex on TV. Anyone notice the level of violence on television? So let me get this straight: it's OK to show people being killed, maimed and dismembered but not OK to show affectionate things. Meanwhile, in some darkened living room in the heartland, a person is being titillated by Britney Spears while calling their Senator about enacting obscenity laws. Man the Puritans did a number on this country.

Car Insurance

These companies take your money year after year. Supposedly they pool the money to pay off claims and still make a profit because less people have accidents than those who do. The company prudently plans for rainy day scenarios where a natural disaster or some catastrophe requires they pay more.

This worked for years and years. Yet recently the "Free Market" has changed the rules. Now you pay even if you are not at fault because your rates go up. They also exclude a lot of coverage and deny as many claims as possible. The free market ends up being rather costly for Joe Sixpack.

This is great for the car insurance company but not for you. Just another example of capitalism working to save you money. Want to change it? You'd have to vote for people that will side with the regular guy instead of the companies.

Out of Control for Sports

No need to wonder any longer why this country is losing its way. Sports heroes make more than entire school district payrolls. If we spent one tenth the energy we spend as a populace rooting for sports teams and directed it at improving, say, education we might have one less excuse to drink but we'd be a lot smarter. Still, why would you ever want to learn about how those in power are shafting you when you can watch some dude in tight pants catch a ball?

Supporting the Flag

Next time someone you know gets all angry about someone desecrating a flag ask them how they feel about letting people go hungry, go without healthcare, die in questionable wars, spank their children, abuse their spouses, let children go without educations or be racist toward immigrants. Once they brush off those trivial issues ask them to keep ranting about the flag stuff.

Note: This also applies to evolution, abortion, prayer in schools, bibles in front of court houses. It's always about symbolism rather than helping a fellow human being. Save the flag, screw your neighbor (unless you know, are related or share the same skin color as them).

National Trauma and Leaders

A nation's leaders are defined by how they help the general population through crises. Ask yourself whether the current leaders are trying to help us heal, capitalize on our fears or do something else in the name of trauma. Then you will know what kind of leaders you have. True leaders don't keep the populace hurting indefinitely.

Kenny G

I just can't get enough of this culture-filled music. Spellbinding and deep. Right up there with Celine Dion.

People Who Hate Rap

If you hate rap ask yourself whether there is not someone in the world that hates the music you love. This is especially true for country music. Why not just accept that other people like stuff you don't and vice versa. Some people find country music to be very scary and inciting hateful speech and violence, just like rap.

It's all in the perspective.

Abolishing Public Schools

Guess who benefits from getting rid of public schools. Those who have the resources to send their kids to public schools.

Imagine a country where people don't have access to education and are governed by a small, educated group that limits their access to school.

The whole point of public school was to even the playing field. Of course this bugs the people who don't want an even playing field. God forbid that other guy gets an education and takes some of my stuff.

Home Schooling

This movement comes from the same school of thought that strives to keep family secrets and mistrusts the outside world. Don't believe me? Research the profile of people who home school, their religious beliefs and their level of comfort with the outside world.

Home schooling can be fine, just not if it's based on fear or isolation. If you are looking for ways to keep your children from experiencing the rich an diverse outside world you are the type of person I'm talking about. If you home school out of the fear that the outside world will discover your secrets or harm your children you are the type of person I am talking about.

If you home school because of religious beliefs, I'm talking about you. Likewise if you are trying to control the information that reaches your children from those outside evil sources.

Love and education is about openness and joy; not fear, control and mistrust.

Conservative Talk Radio

Did you know there are talk radio hosts that actually say stuff that can't be verified by fact and that they do it with a specific political agenda? Did you know that people actually get hurt by this agenda? Did you know that those radio hosts say stuff to get bigger audiences and make money?

I suppose there have always been snake oil salesman but I thought we were a little more sophisticated than that.

Church Goers

Did you know there are people out there who think they are better than you because they go to church? I like the ones that go to church in order to figure out how to better connect with everyone, including people who are not like them.

I don't recall Jesus talking about being better than others.

Real Christians

Do real Christians believe in war, bigotry, hatred, denying people help, selfishness, racism, exclusion, confrontation, anger, spanking, fear of immigrants, fear of gays, fear of non-whites, poverty and its effects, denying people rights, capital punishment, and denying other people the ability to live and believe as they wish?

If you are a real Christian who acts in any of the ways listed above you might want to re-evaluate. Good people, including Christian people, don't do things to hurt or exclude others.

Also ask yourself is Jesus would act in the ways listed above.

Creationism, Evolution and Faith

Creationists appear to have a unique brand of logic that ignores all evidence. I think they mean well but they might be thinking from a place that does not include logic. Perhaps faith has something to do with it, that fabulous human impulse to believe in stuff that doesn't exist. This is why religious folks have trouble with the whole evolution thing. There's so much evidence that evolution occurred that it doesn't fit the whole faith thing.

So I'm going to invent my own faithful creation argument. A dinosaur named Clarence, who actually existed, was the ruler of the world and did some nice things for other dinosaurs. The other dinosaurs loved him so much that they started a fan club. They were so grateful for Clarence's benevolence that they created a whole movement around him. They wrote stories about his great achievements based on their own impressions. They devised rituals that would pay homage to him. They needed money to build worship buildings so they asked their believers to help out. Everyone loved Clarence so they helped without question.

Years and years passed and the Clarence movement gained more and more power. Dinosaurs being what they are, they began to relish all the trappings of power, wealth and influence. They devised rules and behaviors that would increase the influence of Clarencian belief. They told their followers to multiply (more members), proselytize (more members), give more money (more worship buildings). Members became power and an elaborate set of behavioral guidelines was set up to make sure those at the top kept the power and were supported by those at the bottom.

They fought wars in the name of Clarence, they righteously persecuted those who were not Clarencian, they put worship buildings in as many countries as possible. Those dinosaurs were really great. They were so intoxicated with power that they suggested that dinosaurs of other faiths were not true dinosaurs.

Somewhere in the land of Texas a wealthy and alcoholic dinosaur noticed that Clarencian dogma would help him sort of sober up and one day would help him transform his country into a Clarencian nation based on power and faith. He would literally tear his country apart in the name of Clarence. He would stay faithful to keeping power at the top and a flock below. He would invoke Clarence's name on many occasions even indicating he was his favorite philosopher. People thought, "Well, if he loves Clarence, he must be wise, moderate and kind."

It's the same old story. One group thinks it has all the answers and is insecure and ruthless enough to impose its beliefs on others for selfish reasons. Oh, those pesky dinosaurs. Then there's the part about keeping women dinosaurs down within the faith. Then there's the small detail of denying evidence that doesn't support the goals of Clarencianism. It just goes on and on. I'm glad this only happened to the dinosaurs.

Disputing Global Warming

Did you know there are actually people who don't care if they leave the world in worse condition for their children than they found it? I guess that is just a logical extension of the everybody for himself mentality. I got mine.

Men and Women Living Separate Lives

Does this couple sound familiar? She's inside scrapbooking while he's outside working on the truck. They don't talk much except about the kids. They can't remember the last time they did something together or shared a common interest. Then they die.

Dude Love and Watching Football

Ah, watching the football game...the only time dudes are allowed to hug and wink at each other or express emotion. I wish they'd just get it over with and french kiss already. Just write the love poem to your man friend.

Hating Hate Haters

All these people who hate and are afraid of gays, women's rights, secularism, liberalism etc. Why don't they stop hating for a moment and do something nice for someone. What a waste of a life to always hate or mired in fear. Get a hobby. Volunteer at a school. Do something worthwhile with your life that doesn't involve putting someone else down.

Bias Where You Get Your News From

Think about how you get your news. If it comes from only conservative sources, guess what your opinions will be based on? If it comes from liberal sources then you get different results. The key is to get information from both sides and make a decision that's in the middle somewhere.

The other thing is to consider the source. Is your news source committed to promoting only one point of view? The way you can tell is if they don't allow for two independent views. If you only get a point of view that states one side then you might want to consider balancing it with something else. It's also helpful to ask yourself it the news source makes money off their point of view, has a specific agenda or is truly just putting out the news.

News Flash. News is not opinion that supports your values and beliefs. News is reporting that is as neutral as possible and sticks to empirical, demonstrable fact. News tells you the sky is blue, not that the blue sky is brought to you by the Libertarian Party.

Scaring Men Away from Jesus

Want to know how to scare a conservative Christian male away from Jesus? Tell him that loving Jesus means he's gay.

The Gay Marriage Threat

I have yet to see the evidence that gay marriage will destroy the country. Wouldn't it make sense that anyone who wants to marry would be supporting marriage? Also, as far as I can tell, gay people have the same range of strengths and challenges that any other group has.

Think of straight people, or Christian people. Some are great, some you wouldn't invite over to dinner. Some are honest, some are crooks. You know why? They're people. Same with gays.

Women Conservatives

What kind of person thinks so little about themselves that they believe in an ideology that keeps them oppressed? It's like men wishing for a boss that makes them feel even more horrible at work.

Britney Spears and the Midriff

Does everyone have to show off their midriff? It gets so common that it becomes boring. Like any other fad, people just do it to fit in. It's kind of cool to know there are people who aren't swayed by fads. Same hairdo, same clothes, same everything. Yawn. Go out and do something unique and worthwhile.

Fear and Hysteria

Fear tends to impel people to action. I'm glad our leaders don't prey on our fears to get us to act certain ways. At least not in this country. Except for all that stuff they do to keep us scared and compliant. The old, "We're keeping you safe." Safe from what? Oh right, knowledge and openness.

Just think of how scared rich folks are of that bogeyman that is going to step in and steal all their stuff. It's also the same as people being scared of attacks on our country from groups that could never destroy it. Bogeymen are amazing motivational tools because people lose their wits when they are frightened.

One great question to ask is, "Why is that person doing what they are doing?" Another is, "Who benefits from the action?" A third one should be, "Where do I get the information I base my decisions on?"

Those Elite Rednecks

People talk and talk about how the elites want us to be a certain way. Good grief. You mean to tell me there isn't a code of behavior and dress in any country western bar that is strictly enforced. Conform or be cast out and rag on those elites with their cliquish ways. This also applies to the conduct and dress code in any middle class or working class neighborhood, period. Ever try to be different in middle america, crushing.

Noisy Pickup Trucks

Why is every truck as big as possible and as noisy as possible. Anybody ever hear of driving a vehicle that doesn't annoy everyone within a fifteen mile radius. Perhaps it's about how powerful the trucks make us feel. Just not the same trying to wake everyone up with your Prius.

Enough Disney

So I guess we have to wait until every movie and television show is either made or owned by Disney before our culture descends into a pool of blandness cherished by totalitarian rulers. Keep the masses dulled down and the ruling class gets to do whatever it wants. I know, gotta go watch your Disney movie with the kids.

Lowest Common Denominator Movies

You ever notice that everyone laughs at predictable times at these giant, mainstream movies? It's almost as if as soon as the cute kid comes on we already are excited about him saying "Yes!" and pumping his fist. Or else some character does a cute dance. Perhaps someone is involved in a chase scene. There's likely some CGI scene if not the whole movie. Then there's the references to pop culture that take all the whimsy out of everything. I ain't saying nothing but this stuff ain't deep and, most of all, ain't funny. Insert obvious sex joke here.

Motivational Speakers

Have you ever attended one of these Tony Robbins style events? They shout a lot and get everyone jazzed and charged up. The attendees go home excited and energized and, within a predictably short period, fall back into doing the same old thing they always have. Real change requires actually doing new things over time. Tony Robbins doesn't tell you that and goes home with your hard earned money. Just another example of our quick fix culture.

How to Get Rich

Do something you really love, work hard and do it over time.

All the other stuff is garbage.

Also don't do stuff just to make money or you'll be poor in spirit.

There's more to life than monetary wealth.

Father Son Relationships

Why does everyone wait until someone is on their deathbed to tell them they love them. Sure there's the fishin' and huntin' and sports playin' and sports watchin' and providin', but where is the real communication? That usually happens at the time of death, if at all, as a croaking, "I love you boy." What about all the opportunities you have to say and show genuine love and connection before the croaking part? It's hard to say stuff once you're dead.

Speeding Ticket

Don't cops have anything better to do than hassle regular, law abiding citizens who happen to drive safely but over the speed limit? Don't they have something better to do than raise money by issuing more tickets? Surely there are some real crimes being committed in this society. Couldn't those officers, whose salaries we pay, do some real crime fighting.

Political Beliefs

Many are consumed with forcing others to believe as they do. I've got a solution. Believe what you will and let others do the same. If the two of you have to live together, come up with a compromise that works for both of you.

Don't impose your beliefs on others. Some people believe very strongly in some things that hurt a great deal of others. It's good to have a balance. Don't believe me? Look at how our country is doing right now? How well balanced is it?

Immigration

Imagine our economy is in ruins. You lose your house, job, savings and your family becomes so poor you cannot feed your children. You've sold everything of value. You've tried waiting to see if the economy improves but it never does. You have nobody to turn to because your friends and family have no money and the government doesn't help either.

You wait years until your family finally is on the verge of starvation. You've heard that Canada has jobs and a much higher standard of living. You dream of going there to work as a dishwasher, anything, to feed your family. You find out there that there are no more allotments for people from this country to enter Canada. Someone tells you that there is a way to get in, that you'll find a job, and that you can send money home.

You love your children and decide that they are more important than some law that will keep you out of Canada.

Somewhere along the border, a group of scared Canadians is forming posses looking for people like you who want to support their kids and not starve. If you make it in, many Canadians will enjoy using the toilets you clean at below minimum wage while they threaten to kick you out.

Your kids are still starving. You're hungry too.

Putting Down Other People

The next time you are putting down another person think about how the same action would make you feel. Of course, if you don't care about yourself you may not even care about how other people feel. That's how it seems to work. People who care about themselves don't hurt others.

Political Motivation

Ask yourself. Do I make decisions based on how things benefit me and the people I know? Do I consider the needs of people I don't know or our society at large? This will tell you what kind of person you are. Your vote has that much power. It can determine whether you do well and everyone else suffers or whether you do well and everyone else does well too. It's up to you.

Crying Wolf

If our leaders cry wolf we will believe them the first time. We may even believe them a few more times. After that we must look at ourselves and determine what scares us so much that we continue to believe them even though we know they are crying wolf. It's the old personal responsibility decision making based on verifiable evidence.

Everyone Can Decide for Themselves

Many people extol the free market virtues of people making their own choices in healthcare, food, housing, schools, voting and many other areas. What these people don't tell you is that this kind of system gives the people on top the most power and keeps everyone else where they are. Oh sure, some people move up but, in general, the regular folks stay right where they are. This makes it all the more stupefying that these same regular folks continue to vote for people that keep them exactly where they are.

My Chapped Lips

Now I find out that that stuff I've been using for my chapped lips actually contains and ingredient that causes my lips to need more. Ah, those marketing whizzes. Self perpetuating demand.

Britney Having Problems

Have you heard? The media seems to think that Britney Spears is more important than anything happening anywhere else. I'm glad nothing else is happening in our country that requires the media attention. Keep partying Britney, the news will keep us informed. Remember, democracy only happens if there is an informed electorate.

Profiles in Courage

Leaders are best measured by whom their actions benefit. If their actions benefit their rich buddies that says something. If their actions benefit Uncle Harry and Aunt Maude that says another. Courage is not what you do to help yourself, it's what you do to help others.

What Happened to the News?

I'm pretty sure the news used to cover things like Watergate and crises important to the general population, the hearings were on television. Now we get Britney Spears. No wonder people don't know their elbow from their armpit, they're not getting enough information to make rational decisions. Luckily we can all rest easier because nobody would ever want to co-opt the constitution or use the government to benefit their buddies, not in this country. But if it were happening we would probably want the news to cover it rather than Britney Spears.

Pharmaceutical Ads

This is one of the most obvious examples of an industry hoodwinking working class folks. Make a slick ad telling you to ask your doctor about something. I don't know about you, but unless you went to medical school you probably have close to zero qualifications to make any determination over what drug you need to take. The drug companies pray on people's sense that they should make all decisions for themselves and politicians make sure they can keep peddling this garbage. Companies will always be able to sell their snake oil to the unsuspecting.

Strategic Packaging

Have you noticed that products in the supermarket are packaged in ways that reduce the size of what you're getting. All for the same great price which has gone up 30% in the last few years. Shave a few ounces off the product, make the box bigger and you're set.

States' Rights

Let's be honest. States' rights stems from the legacy of slavery, where states didn't want the federal government intruding on their lucrative system wherein people where enslaved for the profit of the few. The states' rights argument simply helps people hang on to ideas that divide our country rather than doing the hard work necessary to institute rights that benefit all people.

Enough with the Hate

A proposition. Stop hating for a day and do something positive for those people you hate so much. You might find out they are people like you. It's all about perspective.

Culture of Fear

A culture that acts out of fear has no hope for improvement. Think of immigration fears in this country for example. Imagine if people gave up their fear and welcomed the idea of helping people become tax paying, law abiding citizens. Problem solved. That requires a major shift from fear to acceptance. Sometimes those in power would rather play to our fears than to our compassion. Hat

Lowest Common Denominator

Why is it as a country we have to pander to the lowest common denominator? Why not try the novel approach of helping each person reach as high as they want. That would probably disturb those at the top I suppose.

Conservative Rich People

There is nothing wrong with being rich. The problem arises when you can never get enough and you will do anything to deny others the same opportunities you have.

Ask yourself this: Why is it some of the richest people in the world never seem to have enough? Why is it that other rich people seem to help others with their wealth? What's the difference? Which one is the conservative?

Donating for the Holidays

Everyone feels great about donating food and gifts to a family for the holidays. The only problem is that that family needs help another 363 or 364 days in the year. Imagine if we cared enough to help people long enough for them to live on their own. The old teach them to fish proverb. But no, a turkey and a gift will do to appease the conscience.

Random Senseless Shootings

Every time there's a shooting in a school or mall people wring their hands about how this could happen. Here's why it happens.

1. A society that doesn't care for it's weakest breeds dangerous people.
2. A society that doesn't function as a society but, rather, sees itself as rugged individuals tends to breed people who act on their own.
3. A society that focuses on punishment rather than treatment misses opportunities for intervention.
4. We always wait until after the fact to examine the shootings rather than preventive measures.
5. Every single individual in this country is part of this society not a lone actor.
6. Our society prizes short-term, quick fixes rather than comprehensive, long-term fixes to problems.
7. A society that is not committed to helping its own people get better perpetuates the cycle.

Puritan Outlook

Why is it in one of the most Puritan countries in the world we have such huge amounts of pornography, murder, drug abuse, domestic violence and sexual deviancy? Oh, I know people say, "That just means we need more religion." More religion simply adds fuel to the fire because you can't stomp out human nature no matter how hard you try. The reason? Repressed people tend to do more bad stuff because it's forbidden. The more you try to repress something the more you fixate on it.

Dudes (or Women) with Big Muscles

Alright, we get it, you have big muscles. Now go figure out how to have something besides big muscles. Please don't get mad, I know you want to use those big muscles.

Our Healthcare System

Having the greatest healthcare system in the world doesn't matter if you don't have access to it. Luckily, I'm great at performing surgery on myself. If I can't do it, I ask my barber.

Living in High School Your Whole Life

Your attention please. There is life beyond high school.

Practical Jokes

I'm sure there are better ways to have a good laugh than to make people feel horrible about themselves by scaring them or demeaning them. Thank goodness only middle school kids do this.

Jokes about Men

Women always make jokes about how deficient men are. Women should look at themselves in the mirror and figure out what is wrong with them first that they are associating with people who act this way. If you weren't around these men then they wouldn't treat you this way.

This applies to men too. If you keep getting hurt by women, figure yourself out and associate with kinder women.

Nobody deserves to be a doormat.

Subprime Lenders

These places are the equivalent of luring a child into a van. Is this what are country is about?

Paycheck and Title Loan Places

There's a special cubicle in hell reserved for these places. Making money off the backs of people who are robbing Peter to pay Paul. Classy.

The Tip Jar

This should be a loud warning about how well we pay employees. Why do we have to further insult low wage workers by having them beg for tips? I don't need to subsidize some large company's compensation policy. Why doesn't the company pay them enough so that they don't have to ask for tips. Oh, my mistake, the CEO needs another mansion.

Overly Friendly Servers

I don't need some kid kneeling by my table, six inches from me and acting like they've known me my whole life. The annoying part is that the management encourages this behavior. This actually makes me want to tip less but that would affect the lowest person on the totem pole. I wish I could tip the restaurant marketers less.

The Large Portion Con

Here's how the restaurants make a bunch of money. They load up your plate with food that only costs them 5-10% more than a regular portion but looks huge on the plate then they charge you 75-100% more for it.

Does the Politician Benefit You?

If a politician tells you he supports the middle class and then his actions demonstrate he (or she) supports the rich then you might want to vote for someone who will support what you need. The rich do it all the time why shouldn't you? Why would you ever want to vote for someone that doesn't have your interests in mind? For example, how are you feeling about gas and grocery prices right about now?

Political Decision Making

Always ask yourself, "Who is this politician benefiting?" If you know who their actions are benefiting then you can decide if she is right for you. For instance, if a politician backs milk companies do you really think that he's going to reduce the price of milk? It's all in the actions people take and the results they get. If a politician pushes policies that overwhelmingly benefit the rich and you're middle class, how do you view that? It's up to you and it's all about results.

Afraid of the Government

Somewhere along the way people either became incredibly selfish or very afraid of government. What's the big deal? Government can either help or hurt middle class guy working hard for a living. The proof is always in the results. Government can make it easier to raise a family, pay bills, get health care, feel safe, gasoline prices, milk prices, and many other necessities of life. It can actually help working folks but it depends on the philosophy of who is running the government. The problem is that people have been sold on the fact that government can't do anything by people who don't believe in government in the first place. It's done by people who want you to believe that business can do everything better.

Always ask yourself, "Is someone selling me this government proposal because they have something to gain or because it will help me and my family." That will help you determine whether the government program helps regular folks or hurts them. It also helps to not get information from people who have a personal interest or profit motive in one position. Rush Limbaugh is not going to sell you on bigger government because he has nothing to gain from it.

Afraid of G

Afraid of Liberals

Everyone's so afraid of those demon Liberals. Good lord, they might hurt us with their health care, schools, civil rights, gender equality, protection of civil liberties, belief in any God you wish to worship, owning a gun or not, granting you privacy in your home, providing well-paying jobs to support families, letting people choose if they want an abortion or not. Imagine a country where people get to do what they want under the law and not get in each other's business. Imagine a country where the government actually helps the little guy. Really scary stuff.

Wal-Mart Jobs

People like to say that Wal-Mart is great because at least they provide jobs. Yeah, those great, low-paying jobs that keep people poor enough to go shopping at...Wal-Mart. Oh, I get it.

Universal Healthcare

It's astonishing to think that, in the richest country in the world, not everyone has health care. This either means that this country does not care about the less fortunate or that people don't get sick. Ever try to be a productive member of society with a raging toothache and no money to treat it? Now make that any chronic medical condition that requires treatment. Good luck performing well in your minimum wage Wal-Mart job while you nurse your cancer with home remedies.

Capitalism Defined

Once upon a time people traded goods so they could live. They also sold goods and services to feed themselves and their families and put a roof over their heads. Then one guy (or woman) decided that he needed more stuff than another person.

Why People Own Fancy Cars

It makes them feel like they are better people and, sometimes, safer. It's always about feeling good and safe.

Why People Own Guns

To feel powerful and safe. Why does everyone always tiptoe around this one? Just admit it and move on.

Why People Hunt

Why does everyone always beat around the bush on this one? People hunt because it reminds them of the only quality time their father spent with them. It also gives them a feeling of power over something. If it were about enjoying nature, people would hike, camp, take photos etc. So why all the fuss?

Free Market Politics

In the history of the world it's never been shown that corporations have any other objective than maximizing profits. This means that corporations cannot be handed the keys to the government. Think about it for a moment. Would you rather see paid government employees who have no profit motive helping you with your heart medication or a drug company that stands to make a buck off of you? You think corporations lay off people because they care about them or because of money?

The Good American

People give up their rights to their rulers because they are scared. The problem with doing that is that power intoxicates and the person who gave up the power could find themselves on the receiving end of the misuse of power. Just because you are a member of an group that is not currently persecuted, that doesn't mean that the rulers won't someday see you as a threat.

That's why you don't give up your rights to them.

Them

People who claim not to be racist and then talk about a group of other people as "them," effectively create a line of demarcation between themselves and the other group. When we see ourselves as different from others we tend to act in ways that separate us rather than unite us.

Speak English

So many people so upset about those immigrants who can't speak English. Then they grab their beer and spout off about how. "This ain't right and I ain't gonna pay my child support 'cause my old lady done me wrong." Yikes.

Hairdryer Breaking

Ever since everything is made in China prices have gone down. I kind of long for the days when I could buy a hairdryer and it would last more than a few months. Sure they used to cost a little more but they would last longer. Stuff that breaks doesn't really save money. Then there's that little problem with throwing the stuff away.

Land of the Obvious

Everyone's always fussing about guns this, God that, flag this. Does anyone understand these are just symbols? Guess nobody wants to look at the deeper stuff. There are great people who own guns and love God as well as horrible people who like the same things. It would be great if people were judged on the things they do rather than what they say.

We've all heard of the devoutly religious households rife with abuse or the flag waving guy who clocks his kids. It's all about what people actually do. Some gun owners are kind and responsible, some sit in their barcalounger waiting for an excuse to shoot someone. Perhaps we could spend a little less time on symbols and actually examine how people live their lives. Results are all that matter.

Political Fighting

What is it with these clowns? Each side thinking they have a monopoly on the truth. Why don't they stand up for our country and help some people along the way. It would be great if some middle class, regular folks actually had a chance to get ahead. The proof is always in the pudding. Who's getting ahead and who's falling behind? You can wave your flag all you want but it's not going to help you when your insurance company doesn't cover your house after a catastrophe and your representative sides with them.

Steve Wilkos

Good grief. As if it wasn't bad enough for this clown to be on Jerry Springer. Now he has a show where he can take out his frustrations under the guise of "helping" others. Last time I checked, shouting at someone's face didn't help fix anything. Making people feel worse about stuff doesn't help them pick themselves up.

Jerry Springer

Can anybody seriously believe that there isn't a special place in hell reserved for this guy? Making money off people's incredible misfortunes.

Busybodies

Why is everyone is always so intent on telling someone else what to do or believe? Whatever happened to living your own life the way you want to and letting others do the same? If you're so happy with your religion why don't you enjoy your wonderful happy life and stop telling me what to believe. Perhaps all these busybodies would benefit from spending more time making themselves better people rather than focusing on others.

Multi Level (Pyramid Scheme) Marketing

If someone offers you a job that requires that you sign up other people and sell something that requires a long sales pitch, run. Run as if you were running down a pyramid. There is also that thing about they want you to invest your own money or buy the product up front.

Mortgage Schmortgage

Good grief. Everyone always says the same junk about, "People should know better than to take out a mortgage they can't afford." My money says that the mortgage companies know far more about risky mortgage practices than Uncle Zeke trying to live the dream.

Buy More Stuff Today

Have you seen all these people cramming into stores to buy more and more stuff, usually on credit. I've got some advice for this country, learn to like yourself for more than possessions. It would be great if we focused on being good people rather than good owners of stuff. Man, do I need a new car though.

The Secret behind The Secret

The secret behind The Secret is that someone is making a lot of cash off of people. You simply can't wish yourself into something, it requires work. Positive attitude never hurts but it is the action of doing things that gets you where you want to be. That and spending your money on things that will actually require you to do some work but will pay off in the long run.

The Secret to Weight Loss

Everyone is always so caught up in the stuff about how to lose fat. There is a basic underlying way to reduce fat but it isn't what most people are looking for in our quick fix culture. The elements are: Get treatment for any physical cause of overeating, work on figuring out what makes you eat psychologically, exercise and reduce portion size. This is the only way people lose weight and it requires all four steps. Of course it's always easier to try some fad thing that never works but makes for great talk with the other people who are doing the same thing that doesn't work either.

Old Drivers

Is it just me or do I spend a large amount of time avoiding accident situations with old people. I can't be dreaming about these folks driving 15 mph on the highway, switching lanes without looking, stopping in the middle of the road and just driving in a generally bewildered state. It's almost the same kind of driving as if you put a goat behind the steering wheel. However, the goat never brags about their sterling driving record.

Death Penalty

This is what happens in a country where short term vengeance replaces prevention. Want to know how to get rid of the death penalty? Have judges be forced to execute the people personally.

Want to know how to get rid of the death penalty for real? Take care of people before they become so desperate that they kill someone. Our death penalty simply mirrors how little we care for people in this country.

It's like tooth decay. You can prevent it or you can pull the tooth out. Which do you prefer? Apparently many people prefer to get rid of the tooth. Stupid.

Rewarding Bad Behavior

It's wonderful that our society rewards people that shaft others to get ahead. After all, what could be more important than swindling someone out of something to make more money. Oh, I forgot, it's honesty and ethics. Guess which side Jesus would be on between someone who takes advantage of someone else and someone who is honest and ethical. Winning at all costs doesn't sound too Jesus like.

Abortion

Here's the thing about abortion. If you don't believe in it, don't do it. Leave everyone else alone. Not everyone believes what you do.

Not everyone believes bringing unwanted children into the world is positive. I would bet my arm that the same people who don't believe in abortion are the ones who also don't believe in providing public assistance to moms and kids. So, bring a bunch of kids into the world but make sure there are no free rides once they are born. Classy.

I always thought it would be great to have all the people who oppose abortion to have to raise all the unwanted kids. If you love the fetuses so much, you get to take care of them until they are old enough. Let's see how much you love kids when you have to support the thousands that will be entrusted to you.

Mainly, just mind your own business.

Giant Stacks of Food

Everyone is always so surprised about the obesity epidemic in this country. I'm no scientist but it may have something to do with the stuff we eat. Just takin' a wild stab in the dark at this one but it also could have to do with Barcaloungers and TV.

The Lady Who Gets in My Business

Why is it these ladies are always stirring the pot and getting in everyone's business. Oh, I forgot, they're married to fat, dumb guys. Great choice ladies.

Teen Life Sucks

I've got a room with an X-Box, DVD, Computer and Cell Phone. I drive a nice car and have great clothes. I have great friends and and active social life. Wow, sounds like a great time to go on and on about how impossible my life is.

Everybody Loves Raymond

Alright, enough already. Men and women don't get along.

Women Complaining about Men

Why is it women are always complaining about men? Why don't they just go out and meet the men that will actually treat them well? That would be too easy.

Cops Know Where the Best Food Is

Went into this Chinese restaurant where cops seem to hang out. There was literally gravy, as in American style gravy, on the food. So much for that theory.

Religious People Telling Me What to Believe

If religious folks are so wise and connected to God why doesn't he or she make them smarter or at least help them get rid of the Southern accents?

Simple Minded People Telling Me What to Believe

I'm tired of simple minded people telling me what I should believe politically. Where in their trailers did they get the notion they could tell me what to believe?

Beer Swillin' and Babes

You ever notice that there are always babes in beer commercials? That's because babes love drunk fat guys who watch a lot of sports.

Semis on the Highway

They always seem to drive just the right speed. Too slow to follow, too fast to pass. Then there's that thing about the rocks that hit your windshield. Just great.

Beer Lovers

You ever have one of these guys talk to you forever about beer? I wish they would talk about something else, like their plan to get out of my space and leave me alone.

Bragging about Women

You know those guys who always brag about how many women they've been with. I wish it was me. At least I'm mad. Think I'll go have another beer.

Classic Car Drivers

You know those guys who drive an old car as their primary vehicle but they call it a classic? That isn't a classic car, that's their only car.

This Guy Cut Me Off

This guy cut me off in traffic the other day. I was so furious that I had a coronary right on the spot. That'll show him.

Why do Lawyers Charge so Much?

Because they are filled with kindness and caring. (Begin warm feelings.)

Get off My Lawn

Once in a while the neighborhood kids will be playing on my lawn, taking cherries from our trees or climbing our fence. No problem, I've got an accountant helping me make some invoices so I can bill them. My attorney is on it too.

Everything is Bad for You

Everything seems to be bad for you or get you sick nowadays. If it hasn't been found to be toxic just wait a while. That's why I like to kiss rats. At least if I get sick I'll know who I got it from.

My God is Bigger than Yours

Didn't guys play this one out a long time ago. OK, yours is bigger. Now go home.

Those Political Emails

Everyone gets all happy about sending some political email that slams some candidate. I always feel embarrassed that I can sit down with someone and have a regular conversation to see if we can find some common ground. I gotta start sending emails instead.

What's Up With those Long Fancy Nails?

Ladies spend all this money on these long fake nails and then paint some kind of unicorn on them in teal and mauve. I gotta get me some of those.

Love Thy Neighbor

That is unless they're different from you. Then it's OK to do random and horrible stuff to them.

Everybody Hates Taxes

Everybody's always against taxes. That is unless they want police, fire, roads, courts, trash pickup, sewers, sidewalks, the military, streetlights, schools for their kids only, social security for Grandma, funding for their church, disability when dad gets hurt, hurricane and tornado help...Wait a second, it turns out people love the stuff that covers them and the people they know, just not the stuff that affects anyone they don't know. USA.

Country Music

This type of music would be great if it were completely different or more similar to, say, rock. But, whoa, those tight Wranglers on the rockers, don't get me started.

Rugged Individualism

Everyone's so focused on their own way of life that they forget that there are other people in this country who aren't them, their friends, family or associates. Otherwise, I can understand how they are completely and utterly alone.

Rodeo in My Town

There's a rodeo in my town and folks walk around looking like they just stepped out of the OK Corral. Problem is we're not in 1886.

Intolerance

Wow, nobody puts up with anyone who is remotely different to them. We've become lemmings cowering in packs and running off the same cliff. Hello country club.

People Who Tell Me What to Do

Why is someone always trying to push a religion or belief system on me? Can't they just be happy with who they are without trying to get in everyone's business? I don't go over to their house and urinate on their Petunias like I'd like to. Not frequently anyway.

Bad Parenting

Saw a lady telling her kid not to hit another while she smacked him on the head. Welcome to WalMart, parenting capital USA.

Spare the Rod

What is it with these people who quote the Bible in order to hit their kids? Someone ought to smack them with a Bible.

Teen Problems

What is it with all these teens acting dumb and knowing it all? I wish I could do that. Damn teens.

Lipstick on My Teeth

I hate when I get lipstick on my teeth, especially since I don't wear lipstick. Grandma?

My Boss is a Tyrant

I hate my boss, she makes my life impossible. I'll show her and do extra well at work today, that'll show her. That or put some poo in her desk.

My Job Sucks

I hate my job, the problem is I don't have a job. Maybe I should rethink this job stuff.

Those Proactiv Doctors

Man these doctors must be rich. All for a medication that is no better than standard Clearasil. I would still let them pop my zits any day, grrrrowl.

I Hate Zits

Man, I can't get rid of my zits. I thought they would go away by now but no such luck. Nothing seems to work except for talking nicely to them.

Good Looking Girls

Why won't they ever go out with me. Man I hate them. I'm going to hit one with my wooden leg sometime or throw my toupee at them.

The DMV

Who was the genius that developed the super fast system of awesome friendliness and competence that is the DMV? What a pleasure. Kudos.

Aggressive People

These are the people who are always willing to shaft someone to get ahead. I admire and love them so much that I wish I could squeeze them like the pimples on my palms.

Supermarket Prices

Have you noticed how much prices at the supermarket have gone up? Thank goodness I don't need eggs, cheese, milk, cereal, vegetables...At least I can chew on my sock. Oh wait, I have no socks.

People and Their Cell Phones

Boy do I love having to slow down and avoid accidents with someone who is more interested in talking on the phone than driving. Adds more pleasure to my commute.

Gas Prices

Anyone notice how much gas prices have gone up in recent years? That's OK, I don't need to buy food anyway.

Capitalism and Greed

Did you know that there are people out there that will actually hurt others to make money? I was surprised when I learned about this. We don't teach this stuff in school to my knowledge. Where is this coming from?