Good Looking Girls

Why won't they ever go out with me. Man I hate them. I'm going to hit one with my wooden leg sometime or throw my toupee at them.

The DMV

Who was the genius that developed the super fast system of awesome friendliness and competence that is the DMV? What a pleasure. Kudos.

Aggressive People

These are the people who are always willing to shaft someone to get ahead. I admire and love them so much that I wish I could squeeze them like the pimples on my palms.

Supermarket Prices

Have you noticed how much prices at the supermarket have gone up? Thank goodness I don't need eggs, cheese, milk, cereal, vegetables...At least I can chew on my sock. Oh wait, I have no socks.

People and Their Cell Phones

Boy do I love having to slow down and avoid accidents with someone who is more interested in talking on the phone than driving. Adds more pleasure to my commute.

Gas Prices

Anyone notice how much gas prices have gone up in recent years? That's OK, I don't need to buy food anyway.

Capitalism and Greed

Did you know that there are people out there that will actually hurt others to make money? I was surprised when I learned about this. We don't teach this stuff in school to my knowledge. Where is this coming from?