Pit Bulls

What is it with people wanting to own a dog that is genetically programmed to latch on to things with great ferocity? Just another example of the small penis syndrome sweeping the country. It also speaks to how scared everyone is about everything. So scared that we must own super aggressive dogs.

Half Handshake

These people don't know how to wait for the web of their hand to meet yours. Maybe they want to get a jump on you or just get it over with quickly lest someone think they're gay. I always wonder if these people think that I don't know how to shake hands then I realize they shake hands that way with everyone. Nothing like having someone shake your fingertips.

Mean People

Imagine living a life where you make others feel horrible all the time. What does that say about you? Why would anyone live a life like that? They hate themselves.

Snot Blowers and Spitters

You seen these guys? Blowing snot and spitting all the time. The people who like these people are either one of them or their dad is one of them or their sister is married to one of them. You can't really love this unless you've been dealt this hand and don't think you deserve better. I've got news for everyone, there is better.

Loud Car Stereos

Here's another great invention from the people who brought you rudeness.